Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Lonely Housewife: Why I Blog

I have had this post in the back of my mind since starting this blog, but I just now feel ready to share this with you. 

When we found out in October of last year that J would be coming out here in January/February for job-related training, we were only dating. We were serious, hell we were living together, but the subject of marriage had never been broached (although we had both been secretly thinking about it). One night we were talking about the ramifications of his year-long stint in California and what that meant for our lives and our relationship, and he said something along the lines of, "I can't help but think that this would be a lot easier if we were married." 

I breathed a mental sigh of relief, as I had been thinking the same thing, but did not want to be the first one to bring it up. Once we agreed that was our best plan, he called my father to ask for my hand (d'aww), proposed in November, then we were married in December.

our reception

We also agreed that it would be better if I didn't work while we were out here: it meant that I could take all of the household duties onto my plate so that he didn't have extra stressors on top of his already-stressful training, it would actually be cheaper than putting E in a daycare, and a myriad of other reasons.

Coming to California with him came with a lot of pros:
  • we got married (duh), let alone were able to stay together
  • living somewhere besides the Midwest for a little while was something that's been on my bucket list ever since deciding to attend an in-state college, and Monterey is a great place to do that
  • E went from being two time zones away from her dad to being three and a half hours away from him
  • I get to be a stay-at-home mom again

It also came with one pretty big con: it meant moving half a country away from all of our family and friends.

J has a few friends that are also out here for the same reason he is. Two of which I already knew, one of which I became friends with since we moved out here-- none of which are married or have children. I have no mom friends. I have no one (of the adult variety) to talk to during the day unless you count the checkout people on the days I go to the store.

Which, for an extrovert, is slightly maddening. I'm lonely, I'll admit it. Even though E and I have done our very best to take advantage of this opportunity (and we are), I'm still lonely. I have tried to make mom friends with the other women living in the military community, but military wives are very clique-y (that's not to say I'm judging them for it, there are some restrictions on who can hang out with whom in the military community). I'm pretty much limited to the wives of those that are in the same career field and pay grade as my husband, and I haven't met one yet.

So, I started a blog. I've been wanting to start one since we got out here, as a sort of online scrapbook of our time out here. But I didn't think I had the time to devote to it until I realized how much time I spent online already doing basically nothing. 

And so FWMGS was born. I told myself at first that it was just a hobby, something to do after E and J had already gone to bed that wasn't just mindless web surfing and watching reruns of Chopped and What Not To Wear.

I have slowly come to realize, however, that my true intention (subconscious at the time) was a way for me to redefine my identity, as Kim, and not as one or all of the hats I wear. To renew my excitement in the things I am interested in, and to push myself to explore them further, to better myself, so that I can be better for those around me. 

these two <3

I also realized that it was a way to find a community. To write as military wife and stay-at-home mom who likes to cook and put together outfits, and hope to find other like-minded individuals. To build online relationships in place of wasting my time making temporary friends out here, just until they leave and move on to the next base, or we do. This little blog of mine is (fingers crossed) my ticket off of Lonely Island, and I feel like I'm already off to a pretty good start.

So if you like what you see here: please, won't you be my neighbor?


  1. We have a TON of military people here. We are one of the biggest air force bases so we have people coming and going all the time. My problem is that I always make friends with women in the military and then they move away. So sad! But I am very thankful that I had that time with those girls. We had some good times. I started my blog as a hobby after my son was born and am SO glad that I did. I think it will be an awesome thing for you.

    Fashion and Beauty Finds

    1. First of all, I want to thank you for taking the time to stop by and comment every day. It really means a lot to me. :)

      Second, I have made friends with many many military people throughout the last several years, and it's always so sad when we go our separate ways. But I agree, I truly treasure my time with them. I haven't given up hope on making real life friends here, but it's not looking so good right now haha. The problem is, once we leave here and go back to Offutt, that's where we'll stay. So it makes more sense to just keep the friends I have in Omaha and make more once we get back. What base do you live by, if you don't mind my asking? I'm glad you started your blog, too :) I hope it will be a good addition to my life as well.

      Thanks again for all your kind words, Amy. :)

  2. Yay, thanks for sharing your story! It sounds like you've had some pretty exciting things happen this year.

    1. Thanks for stopping by again. :) It really does mean a lot to me. And this year has been VERY exciting, but like all things in life, it does come with its downsides haha. Just gotta make the best of it!


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